Hi everyone. my name is Carol Anne.
I am an alter in a dissociative system. For those of you who don’t know what that means, basically it means I share my body with others, alter personalities, I am dissociative, I have what is known as DID – dissociative identity disorder, Which begins from early trauma, severe child abuse in my case.
D.I.D – Dissociative Identity Disorder is described on the MIND mental health charity website as-
Dissociative identity disorder (DID)Dissociative identity disorder used to be called ‘multiple personality disorder’.
- If you have dissociative identity disorder you will experience severe changes in your identity.
- Different aspects of your identity may be in control of your behaviour and thoughts at different times.
- Each of your identity states may have different patterns of thinking and relating to the world.Your identity states may come across as different ages and genders.
- You may feel you have one ‘main’ part of your identity that feels most like ‘you’ – some people call this a host identity.
- The different parts of your identity may have memories or experiences that conflict with each other.
- Some people call these different parts of your identity ‘alters’ or ‘parts’.You might not have control over when different parts of your identity take over.
- You may suffer from amnesia which means you don’t remember what happens when another part of your identity is in control.
Our body is 37, but I am 19. I am a protector salter. I am what is known an an ANP -apparently normal part.
Even though my name is Carol Anne, I cannot go by that name in real life, I have to use our bodys name of Shirley, because our family don’t accept our diagnosis, they are in denial about it.
I am from Ireland.
I am also blind. I have been blind since I was born. I was born 13 weeks premature. The blindness was caused by the backs of my eyes not being developed properly. I don’t mind being blind, you get used to coping without sight, when you’ve never had it you don’t miss it. I have a wonderful guide dog named Nitro.
He’s six years old and a cross breed between a lab and a golden retriever.He is my world.
Living with DID is hard. Every day I face triggers, memories, flashbacks, emotional overwhelm. Every day I struggle but I keep going and if you met me in person you’d probably never know we are a we unless you knew what you were looking for.
There are many personalities in here in this body with me. Young children, teens, and adults. We all make up the whole of Shirley, who is the host and our birth name.
If you’d like to know more please follow our blog, I blog about life, therapy, and living with disabilities and mental illness.
Thanks for reading,
- For more information on D.I.D and other mental health conditions take a look at the https://www.mind.org.uk website.
- For more information on eye conditions and what they are, have a look at the RNIB website
- For information about guide dogs and how you can sponsor one, have a look at http://www.guidedogs.org.uk/
UK LINKS ONLY!