What if it is more than a cold or what if it affects my chest or what if, what if, what… pretty much the same anxieties that go through my mind in everyday life. Except this time the consequences are very much real.
My body is like an overworked employee, it cannot take any extra work load, especially not the flu or having a cold, and it will overreact and rebel if this happens.
A simple thing that, adverts have shown women, pounding down the street, being Wonder Woman, fighting off a cold with medicines such a night nurse – which I cannot even bloody take.
Let alone manage to be Wonder Woman- her costume may be a touch tight, and imagine getting that off to go to the loo!! Not only do I have a cold, but I get the feeling I have joined the man flu tribe and I am letting every woman on earth down. Thanks for that media, ta very much!
Any kind of illness that upsets my immune system will pardon the phrase it make me shit through the eye of a needle, and have mucus that looks like I blew my nose, combined with blood and fuck knows what else. (Sorry I always get carried away with the details).
If I see someone sneeze, I spend the next few days waiting for the familiar symptoms! Not actually sitting waiting, but it plays on mind.
This morning I woke up with a horrendous sore throat, I have no tonsils after 2 years of abscess after abscess, they finally were thrown into the fiery Furness of an incinerator where they belonged.
So I presume it’s just a sore throat, however, it’s 6am, I feel like I have spent the night swallowing razor blades, but alas my sword swallowing days are behind me (Joking) so now I can already feel my tummy starting to rumble.
I have already got a ‘if I shit myself’ pack in my bag, with spare knickers, pants, wipes and pads.
It’s especially dangerous when you have a cough, a regular cough, and a bum hole that feels like a baby elephant at a water park!
Ok, I must stop moaning, another side effect no one tells you about, the trap of thinking you’re moaning. I think it’s perfectly normal to have 947 health conditions and to talk about them like I would talk about anything else, but apparently in some society, it’s best to not say a word, other people don’t want to know, don’t want to catch it and frankly couldn’t give a flying hoot, as long as you do not bring any kind of doom to their day, or the other side is the people who know, they know how you’re feeling, their second cousins hamster had it, their friend in Siberia had it once, and they know all about it as they had a wart on their finger removed when they were 12.
I have a honey lemon, I am 99% thankful I’m alive, and I’m sure I’ll be back to my usual farty self in absolutely no time at all!