Feeling feminine (or not)

Do you ever just feel so ridiculously unfeminine…. I’m 90% sure sometimes I’m less feminine than most men.

I strive to be a Love Island preened beauty yet I’m more like Onslo from keeping up appearances! (See picture)

“Onslo” Keeping Up Appearances

Does a beauty regime have to take a bank loan and more products than the local beauty store to make you at least half way to scrubbed, preened and feeling womanly? Or does it just take time and precision or a whole lot of patience?

I (wrongly) assumed possessing a vagina would be enough to make me feel feminine enought but no. 

Is it feminine or ladylike? 

Those insecure little gremlins that sit on each shoulder telling me my hair should be bouncier, my make up should be better, my feet should be less dry and my nails should been less flaky and body hair…. Body hair should be vanquished! I should be smooth and tanned without a blemish to be seen! But where did I get these ideals from?

My face has been a pus filled nightmare for a few weeks and once the pus disappeared the onset of a scabby (Drug addict mug shot style) face appeared.

Lush Cosmetics Catastrophe Cosmetic to the rescue!

So why do I feel like that? Is it me? Is the media? Is it society? or is it a combination of everything that munches away at my own insecurities. 

Accepting who you are is one of the hardest things and I doubt anyone really does, warts and all.

I’m unsure if being fat helps my insecurities along the way, I wonder if I feel the need to be more preened as a way of feeling better about myself? 

I stopped straightening my hair well over 7 months ago. As I have naturally curly hair, but due to me straightening, bleaching etc… My natural curl pattern was horrific, it was just a big frizz! After dyeing it once in that time and barely using any kind of heat on it…. Is it that, that makes me worry? A change has thrown my routine completely off . Even though my hairs about 200% longer than it was… Have I just got out of a beauty routine?

I’m unsure it’s the make up side of a routine. I don’t wear a lot and I feel I look ok in what I do wear!

Maybe if I buy a few products to target my specific worries and get into a good routine and go from there!

I always ask a lot of questions during my blogs but usually I comes up with the answers after arguing with myself!

But feel free to give me your opinion. They are always appreciated!

Love Sooz x


22 Comments Add yours

  1. I think that society / media has a lot to answer for. I’m a 40 yr old male who’s never been too bothered about a skin regime or anything like that but through a constant bombardment of ads, promotions in shops and such like I’m wondering if I need to trim my eyebrows (my barber suggested this the last time I had a haircut) , use a comb and oil on my beard like a colleague does (his beard looks smoother than mine) or even just style my hair instead of rustling it with my hands in the morning.
    Don’t even get me started on my skinny legs, lack of a tan or lack of any sort of muscular definition.
    I thought I was content with myself but I do wonder sometimes πŸ˜” xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh this made me smile! We all compare ourselves it seems! X

      Liked by 2 people

  2. manyofus1980 says:

    I am not big into beauty regimes or routines. I try to clense tone and moisturise my face. I wear make up going out but not every day. Whatever works, I say. xo

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kel says:

    For me feeling/being feminine is a state of mind and has nothing to do with external things

    Liked by 1 person

  4. anasylvi says:

    Well maybe we should not focus that much on that the media sets as feminine or not. usually this is only for rating purposes, in real life it’s truly unimportant. The feminine feeling comes from inside and it’s a sort of self confidence, no matter of the body hair or smooth silky hair, unblemished skin or being fat or slim. I kinda made peace with my wavy hair by combing and moussing it after wash, which makes it curl on its own. I only refresh it with some sprayed water now and then. As for make up, I don’t use much, only kohl for more than 20 years, from time to time i use blush or lipstick, or some eye shadow. Use nice frangrances for shower, body lotion, some perfumes that suit you and you’ll feel great. I enjoy wearing dresses, but to feel confident use any outfit that will make you feel great. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  5. What you put in is what you put out so eat and drink well and be happy – nothing beats happiness Sooz!
    Learning to love yourself is realising that some things takes time, new diet and exercise routine, upping the supplements or even finding time to wash, condition and tame your hair. I was in the beauty industry for 16yrs and it really comes down to knowing yourself not what works for other people. Take time to make yourself beautiful for you and you will soon see the benefits
    (( Sooz are you uk based?? ))

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am UK based, yes. Thankyou for your comment! It’s true xx


      1. Brill, don’t know why I thought you were American!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh gosh! I don’t know! Nope, definitely UK based! X


          1. I think it the cool writing style, I’m a bit older than you lol

            Liked by 1 person

  6. Do you have any idea how much your posts life the spirits of your readers? Alright, that is an assumption, and sometimes your trials may make people cringe; however, you always return with more insightful comments. On that note, here is my two cents worth (except pennies are no longer used in Canada).
    I am too young to have come from the era of tweaking everything other than the hair on your head, and the era of growing all hair wherever it is on the body. Or still young enough to not have been dragged into it. With four daughters I was reluctant to persuade them to remove hair unless they wanted to. I went so far as to provide a history lesson on the why and why not.
    I was only concerned about my head of hair, which was once glorious. Society still holds some sway with me. It has not been easy to be me in a society of ‘them’. Good foryou to share what continues to be a struggle for mainly women. Hell, it is only women who who have had felt it necessary to conform.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What a lovely thing to write. Thankyou! I think I write for me, but if it can make someone smile or say ‘me too’ then it’s an extra bonus! Your daughters are very lucky that you gave them an education, and showed them a choice! Love Sooz x

      Liked by 1 person

  7. ditzy50 says:

    Great blog. People tell me I’d look better if I dried my hair, put make up on etc but I feel comfortable as me

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Sar says:

    Femininity is all in the mind, be you and that’s all you need to be.
    Be loving, be kind, be happy.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Kate says:

    Those gremlins you talk about speak to me as well. It is a daily battle to decide whether to listen to them or not. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. CreativeMisfit says:

    I do understand what you mean. I am overweight and feel so unfeminine all the time and I do feel like I have to put in way more effort to feel good about myself or to feel feminine.

    It is strange though because I have met some bigger and smaller women that have the same issues as me so although I think media does play a part I think as individuals we do put a lot of pressure on ourselves as to what we believe we should look or act like.

    You don’t have to be feminine to be beautiful. I am not what you would generally class as very feminine but I do enjoy doing my makeup for work and my hair when i go out. It is a state of mind. Try not to focus on being feminine just focus on doing what is best for you to make you feel good inside and out and just keep doing whatever that is xx

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Feminine… It’s a word I don’t usually associate with myself. In my furry brain, someone who is feminine is dainty, ladylike, and possibly ornamental. The kind of person who has time and resources to conform to what the magazines are selling, or who fills traditional roles in a traditional way. So, yes, having sassy hair and polished nails – or even *gasp* eyeliner on, does something to polish female to feminine.

    I feel female – which is a totally different thing – when my grandson cuddles up against me, or when I do something that empowers me, even if it’s finally getting that one irritating chore done. I think maybe I prefer feeling female (ie. functional) over feminine. Most of the time.

    I hadn’t really thought about this before. You have an awesome way of sparking thought processes. oxo

    Liked by 2 people

  12. amandadunn1691 says:

    I nominated you on my recent Blogger Award post πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  13. emmanique says:

    It has taken me till now at the age of 43 to realise that “feminine” does not come from without but within. I’ve got small boobs, a big ass, I’m a little over weight, skin so pale I get sunburnt in moonlight, crazy curly hair and joints that are hyper flexible so I’m bendy in odd ways.

    Growing up I had thick glasses, silver braces, I was to tall in primary school and to short in hight school and despite playing a lot of sport I was FAT. Add to the mix the fact I am high functioning Autistic with Communication Issues so I never understood the unwritten rules of beauty, fashion, friendships or dating (I still don’t) so I was always “that odd chick/outsider/weirdo”

    I spent most of my adult life in areas of study and work where I was either the ONLY female or 1 of a limited number of ladies and I always felt way more comfortable with the boys than the girls because I always felt so ungirly. I’m happy to ware baggy t-shirts, no bra (I have really small boobs) and jeans with zero makeup and my hair in a pony tail. Thanks to my autism I didn’t realise the guys tried hard to flirt with me but gave up often thinking I was gay because I didn’t give typical flirty feedback. Even the occasional lady who flirted with me got confused as to why I didn’t flirt back but they actually asked me unlike the guys and I’d be confused because I had no idea they found me attractive and were flirting with me.

    Then last year at the age of 42 two events happened to make me really stop, think and reevaluate me. The first was a massive psychological breakdown that put me in the care of a psychiatrist and a psychologist who slowly started teaching me that I’m not an odd ball I’m autistic so I will alway process information differently and I’ll probably never feel comfortable as the centre of attention so I dress to not stand out, which is fine it doesn’t make me any less feminine. At the same time I enrolled to study my Diploma of Specialised Makeup Artistry to learn to use makeup. Learning to become a MUA was the first time I was in a totally female environment and I discovered my inner gremlins of not being skinny enough, shapely enough, pretty enough and so on were universal among all of the ladies. I didn’t change the way I looked I still dress like a beach bum but my mind set changed to realise I am a sexy, curvy, funny, intelligent, beautiful lady and if you don’t like me as I am don’t try staying in my life.

    Do I still have fat cow days OH HELL YEAH and I still get insecure when I have to dress up a bit and go out but over all I’m learning to love me just as I am and honestly it’s the hardest thing I’ve every had to learn to do.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Interesting thoughts! I know I feel so un feminine sometimes but thats just me and we are what we are! The media tries to shove a certain way of beauty down our throats but we don’t have to acceept what they say is feminine. Love this!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I understand where you’re coming from and I can relate on some level. However I’m against labelling things, actions or behaviours as masculine or feminine because I think it puts undue pressure on people to act a certain way. But great blog, I enjoyed reading it!

    Liked by 1 person

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