When the sad feelings overwhelm the happy ones. When the bad words said drown out the good. When no matter how nice the clothes or the make up, you still feel ugly.
When I want to be treated like a person not a clothes size, when no matter how much someone says they care or worry, the other things they say are the ones that hurt you.
When deep down you know they refuse to understand the person you are, no matter how much you try and share. When you’re made to feel guilty for something you also aren’t happy with.
When the problem someone has with you, is a problem you have with yourself. Looking in the mirror at the overwhelming rolls, the dimpled skin, the body that’s deemed disgusting by some of society. If I think its horrible, and they do,it must be right.
When no matter what you do, how bad or how good, being fat is your biggest crime, your biggest disappointment.
When your heart is hurting, you don’t love yourself enough to disbelieve what someone else says. When you know being skinny is someone elses end goal, not necessarily yours.
When your head feels like a disintegrating polystyrene cup, but it doesn’t matter, when your digestive system is like swallowing dragon breath, it doesn’t matter, I don’t fit the frame. The frame I didn’t make or break.
When treating you the same,is too much to ask. When feeling like every morsel is judged. When your stomach is hungry as well as your mind.
Love Sooz x