Pre-Birthday Anxiety!


It’s January, my birthday is in August. AUGUST!

Yet I have already begun worrying about it.

This year I will be 30.

Whilst others celebrate and go on holidays, have big parties, etc..

I don’t want any of that. I don’t want anything other than a normal birthday.
My birthday is anxiety inducing enough without excess stress of pleasing other people.

I worry that my post birthday blues will be worse. The more extra fuss is made.

Whilst I’m thrilled I have made it to thirty, more so because I’m still alive. I certainly do not feel my age, nor do I want to start ‘acting it’. But to me it’s just another year.

Birthdays (my own) have never brought me the same kind of joy other people, seem to get from parties and celebrating.

I feel while this is best for me, I feel pressure that other people want to celebrate, and I am stopping them. I feel selfish. My Mum asked me what I had planned (again, my birthday is in August, its January) and was obviously taken aback when I said nothing, and nor will I be planning anything, que numerous questions!

This is probably the first time I’m being quite blunt about not wanting to celebrate. Last year was so lovely, walking in the sunshine. Sitting eating ice cream by the river. No stress, no fuss. Brilliant!

Maybe I’m thinking too much into it?

Love Sooz x

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35 thoughts on “Pre-Birthday Anxiety!

  1. I see where you are coming from. Birthdays, meh. I’m 24 in May, I really have zero intentions to do anything for it. It’s your birthday, it’s up to you. You can celebrate it in any way that you want to πŸ™‚
    As for your birthday last year, walking in the sunshine and eating ice cream near the river. That does sound pretty perfect. πŸ™‚
    – Hannah
    (www.paintmeasmile.co.uk)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I can relate, I too have great reasons why my birthday will forever suck and just thinking about it causes me anxiety. I’ve learned that keeping things low key, just me and my husband, at home with a movie usually just about fills my celebration quota. I have my 40th coming up in a few years and am already getting stressed about people asking what I will be doing for it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hang in there lady – I used to not believe it myself, but once you’ve been in your thirties for a bit – it really is truly amazing! I don’t think I’d go back to my twenties now, even if someone paid me. Hopefully you find a meaningful way to celebrate that you’ll be able to treasure for the years to come… for my 30th, I made my husband go on a 30-mile bike ride with me.. it was quiet, but special πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Don’t worry about not wanting to celebrate – you don’t have to. I’m not fussed about birthdays either – and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s your birthday so do whatever you want to do, even if that is nothing.

    Turning thirty seems like a big deal and plenty of people go crazy. Good for them if it is what they want to do. But it isn’t a big deal at all. I’m 38. Thirty is cool. My thirties were way better than my twenties – more confident about being me, less concerned about what I was supposed to want and more focused on doing the things that mattered to me. I hope my forties will be even better again!

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Being 30+ (to say the least), looking back, if I could choose any age to go back to, it would be my 30’s. I made all my worst mistakes before that, so it was all good going forward. So don’t stress, good times ahead.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I don’t like my birthdays, after having a disastrous 16th birthday party that hardly anyone came to. Sob sob.

    But for my 30th I felt I wanted to do something for it, as otherwise I was freaking out about turning into a real grown up! (The fact I was married, had a mortgage and was expecting my thirdat the time didn’t seem to register as grown up in quite the same way, for some reason!) I made myself a clay painting party and this time with lots of friends who did come.
    Do what you want to do. I think that’s the difference between being 30 and 20. You stop caring about “What everyone else is doing” and just do what makes you happy.

    But seriously, you’ve got AGES until you need to think about what you are doing in August. I don’t even know what I’m doing next week!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I’m turning 30 in June and honestly, I’m not bothered by it in the slightest. Age is just a number πŸ™‚ Society tricks us into feeling glum about the big three oh. I’m also not one for huge celebrations, so this year I will be having a meal with my family. I’m not where I imagined I would be at this age. I imagined myself settled down with kids, a husband and a nice house but life doesn’t work out that way. Again, thanks to society for trying to make us feel like we’re not good enough or we haven’t achieved enough by a certain age. It’s your life. Do what you want for your birthday πŸ˜€ And embrace it. Looking back, my 20s sucked! In my 20s, I didn’t know what I wanted and was constantly changing. I’m now more in tune with myself and my desires and I can safely say that I would not like to go back 10 years and relive being 20!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. On the bright side birthdays never arrive annually in a literal way.

    I’m quite thankful for that. It would have caused my mother untold pain and suffering and been unpleasant for both of us.

    In contrast if you consider that you’ll probabaly end up eating something nice and watching a movie then things aren’t so bad.

    Enjoy your day – and whatever it becomes. πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I’m not a huge fan of celebrating my own birthday either. I hate being the center of attention! I even tried to convince my husband to elope when we were planning our wedding because I didn’t want to stand in front of people and know they were all watching me! (but we did it and I survived so it was all good) Instead of having big celebrations, we started the tradition of having a family dinner on my birthday. It’s perfect because I get to spend time with my family, but it’s really low-key so I don’t feel like the center of attention.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Hell, in my family, once you have a job and can buy your own presents, nobody says anything. My dad forgot to wish me happy birthday this year until a month later. My mom calls me every year, but I just say “okay” and move on. Once you bypass the milestones (16, 18, 21 for the drinkers here), unless you have a gaggle of friends you do everything with, it really doesn’t matter with me. It’s another day.

    But hey, like you said, it’s January. I’m surprised your mom’s asking about it so early–never heard of anybody asking over six months in advance, so hmm…interesting. I’d rather hang out with close friends and cake, not make the biggest fuss (and I’ve got so much crap and everybody’s so busy, the last thing I want is a bunch of extra stuff in my house anyway). Center of attention’s never been my thing either, just have a pleasant one.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. I am well past 30 and still don’t act my age. Just go with it, your 30’s are actually really awesome. There are still so many things we are figuring our in our 20’s, but our 30’s is when we really come into ourselves.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I few days ago, I got 26 so I hope this makes you feel better. LOL Don’t worry I am also starting to feel like a grandma. You got it girl, age is just numbers that’s what I always say to myself

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I can totally relate!!! Last year my mom threw me a surprise birthday party for my 30th and I cried (I am not a crier) not out of happiness or surprise but out of anxiety. It was too much! I just wanted to eat pizza with my family and go home. Everyone kept hugging me and talking a mile a minute and it was just way too much fuss. I am more low key in my celebrating. You should not have to stress about it so far in advance though. Let everyone in your life know your plan and hopefully they respect it.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Last September I turned 50. We kind of planned to go out for a drink and a meal but come the day I didn’t fancy it so we stayed in and went out when I was up to it. Just do what suits you Sooz. Any day that ends with you climbing into a nice warm bed is a successful day, whether birthday or not. And if this is a clever way of starting the celebrations early… (happy birthday) πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Happy Early Birthday! I think not wanting to celebrate is okay I know my mom just turned 50 this year and she was freaking out..she doesn’t look her age or act it and likes the fact that people think of her younger I tried to remind her that age is just a number its more celebrating how long you’ve been on this planet and the great person you are πŸ™‚ You definitely don’t have to have a party just enjoy your day how you feel most comfortable I’m sure your family will be happy with acknowledging it (that’s what I did for my mom) a card, call, text, fb..just to know I am thinking about her but respecting what she wanted πŸ™‚ Hope everything goes well!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Remember: age is just a number! And I didn’t realize until the first or second year into my thirties that I didn’t truly know myself in my twenties. I feel like people in general come into their own in their thirties. So you have a lot to look forward to πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  17. ugh. I turned thirty last August. that was a marker for me that I’m officially a full adult. and I suck at life so bad. it just makes me ill thinking about it.

    but here’s another way to think about birthdays — everyone you love and care about are celebrating having you around for another year. when you make the celebration more about their emotions, such as thankfulness and happiness, it’s a little easier. still sucks, but less so.

    you have to take care of yourself foremost, though. so I support whichever decision you choose. ❀

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Hey Sooz, just been having a browse of your blog after you liked my post and given you a follow! Expectations of others cause so much pressure don’t they? It is your birthday, do what you feel like doing – you can’t be responsible for if other people are disappointed, that is down to them. Turning 30 is no different to any other day, it is just a number. Heck I am 42 this year and I still feel like I’m in my 20s! Looking forward to reading more of your blog πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  19. You and I are just about 30 years apart in age. I turn 60 in September, the 11th. For a few years I would inevitably be asked by some foolish individual if I had ever considered changing the date my birth is acknowledged. Thank goodness that no longer occurs!

    I say do what you want when the day arrives. Stop stressing about it now – any chance of saying to your mother to just stop? I know, the guilt! To paraphrase my mother, ‘perhaps we should celebrate that she gave birth to us on our birth days.’ I know that is done in some countries. (I am still working on convincing my daughters)

    Be you, do what you want, live, laugh, cry, dance.

    Liked by 3 people

  20. Sooz, I couldn’t agree more with the comments that I see that 30s are way better than 20s. I’m taken more seriously and have a ton more confidence than I did in my 20s. Something else to look forward to is that as you get later in your 30s, you get a little more testosterone in your system than you had in your 20s. I find it much easier to stay lean in my 30s, especially my late 30s, than I did in my teens and twenties….even after having a child.

    But, I get it: “I worry that my post birthday blues will be worse. The more extra fuss is made.” I never celebrate it. I do what I want to do all day, then we go out to a fancy dinner at night. Just my family. And I don’t tell anyone that it’s my birthday. Besides, what an anticlimactic conversation.

    “Hey, today’s your birthday.”
    “Yup”
    “Well, happy birthday!”
    “Thanks”
    (silence)

    Liked by 2 people

  21. first of all, a very happy unbirthday to too. it’s just about your 10770 unbirthday. good job! i think unbirthdays are better since they are celebrated 364 days a year. 364 is much larger than 1. more celebrations
    -good. who cares they are a little bit smaller.

    i can feel your pain for extra anxiety for a milestone birthdays. you aren’t alone with your struggles with milestone birthdays because they are whole other beast. i knew i wasn’t to celebrate my wife’s milestone birthday when she would stomp around and be all moody, grumpy and pouty. in absence of those behavior, i knew it would be safe to celebrate. so, you’re having a milestone birthday. so. my advice? don’t fight it. just be with it. when you do, your can take away all its power.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. all you gotta do is think of how beautiful you are, know that you are worth it and that people care. they love you for you and its simply true. Your getting there, your ok. Happy birthday sooz

    Liked by 1 person

  23. As written in one of the comments, it’s your birthday and it’s up to you! Nonetheless, as someone once said ‘ why shouldn’t you celebrate if there is a good occasion to do it?’
    For the birthday of one colleague we organized a Cocktail Party and it was a success, people were involved and actively partecipating to the party! No stress for the birthday girl, since people had to make their own cocktails & brought something.
    If by any chance you’ll change your mind, we have an article about it and you may find it useful!
    http://wp.me/p8HXdM-4W
    πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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