It’s January, my birthday is in August. AUGUST!
Yet I have already begun worrying about it.
This year I will be 30.
Whilst others celebrate and go on holidays, have big parties, etc..
I don’t want any of that. I don’t want anything other than a normal birthday.
My birthday is anxiety inducing enough without excess stress of pleasing other people.
I worry that my post birthday blues will be worse. The more extra fuss is made.
Whilst I’m thrilled I have made it to thirty, more so because I’m still alive. I certainly do not feel my age, nor do I want to start ‘acting it’. But to me it’s just another year.
Birthdays (my own) have never brought me the same kind of joy other people, seem to get from parties and celebrating.
I feel while this is best for me, I feel pressure that other people want to celebrate, and I am stopping them. I feel selfish. My Mum asked me what I had planned (again, my birthday is in August, its January) and was obviously taken aback when I said nothing, and nor will I be planning anything, que numerous questions!
This is probably the first time I’m being quite blunt about not wanting to celebrate. Last year was so lovely, walking in the sunshine. Sitting eating ice cream by the river. No stress, no fuss. Brilliant!
Maybe I’m thinking too much into it?
Love Sooz x