When you write a blog I think the title might be the hardest part… Trying to Sum up an entire piece with about five words max.
This one was hard… My mental health massively relies upon me not letting outside influences get inside my head, as sometimes once they’re in there, they turn into an anxiety!
When I worry about others, it generally invokes my worst case scenario thought proccesses… A Facebook post leads me to think someone close or a pet has died (nothing remotely like that happened) a knock on the door, a text or a call makes me think horrific things worthy of a horror movie have happened.
As soon as anyone leaves this, or their own house, I’m terrified something bad will happen. But, that never transfers to me. When I go out, it’s fine, its ok!
Whilst that’s difficult, it’s manageable. What I find hard is when someone knows you worry and manipulates it to their advantage, knowing how much you worry, they use calls, texts and status updates to keep both me and others under an imaginary thumb.
Their life is like watching a car crash into a wall, then reverse, then crash and they want pity, they want anything you can offer.. but each time they’re back in the driving seat they crash the car.
I’ve slowly learnt to really put the brakes on my help, my concern and my care (to their knowledge anyhow). I have to. For my own sanity.
I work hard to keep negative influences from getting into my head. It’s a Labour of love, and its bloody hard.
It’s important, I look after me and my mind, my stability.
Love Sooz x