Grief the good, the bad and the sad!

Grief, a subject I’ve chosen to write about as it is so prevalent in everyday life.

Grief can be so many things,a terminal illness, a death, the end of a relationship, even the end of a career.

The grieving process is never a set time, for some it can last a lifetime, for others not so long, and the process may not always start when something comes to an end.

Grief for me, feels like something so painful it can never be explained. It affects so many different parts of your life. Your memories feel tainted by that sadness.

Grief is difficult, in my experience to feel on your own. There is always other people to factor in. Some move on faster, some slower and some say or do things that make you want to scream.

Probably 50% of my close family (parents, sibling excluded) died before I was 14. It affected both my child and adult hood massively. I wasn’t prepared, mentally or physically for the loss.

All of the deaths included some kind of illness, which was a cruel awakening to a cruel world. Whilst adults are grieving it’s maybe easy to forget about a child, especially one who says it’s all fine.

As an adult I’ve learned death is unfortunately a very real part of being alive. It’s just as sad, yet you understand it, you never want it.

I selfishly find the way other people deal with grief the worst part of death. I always have, even from being a small child. The whole funeral/wake ritual baffles. People I’ve never met want to hug me.

I think I find a lot of solace in the way South America deal with death, día de los muertes, makes me want to celebrate like that. Death is the only certainty we ever have. Yet I have maybe spent 10-20% of my life grieving. 2-5 years!

Grief isn’t just about death, again, in my opinion, when something ends
.. I even have a brief mourning period when I have eaten the last biscuit and I look sadly at the bottom of the tin! Jokes aside, a period of grieving is important, when a relationship ends its only natural to feel like something has died, there’s something missing, it has.

When a career ends whether through illness, redundancy or a costly mistake, it’s again a loss, even if that loss is your own doing, your life changes.

So to finish off, as I think I’ve rambled enough!

Do you think grief is within each day or solely restricted to death?

Do you struggle with grief?

Love Sooz xx
Note: this blog is from my own perspective, they aren’t meant to offend anyone and I fully understand that grief affects everyone in different ways. 

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11 thoughts on “Grief the good, the bad and the sad!

  1. While I cannot speak for others my grief has been almost a relief. My dads passing has not been a heart wrenching rip for the family… Its simply been the end after a very long and painful time. Watching a person who used to be so full of life (And sarcasm) fade is painful. His death has simply been an end to the pain.
    Am I going to hiss him? YES! but do I wish he hadn’t died?… Sadly No. I wish he had never smoked and got Emphysema and COPD… But I’m glad the pain and misery is over.

    Had it been a quick passing then I can honestly say that I would not be saying the same thing. I have had a long time to come to terms with my dads illness and impending death.

    But you are VERY right in that you shouldn’t treat death as a dirge… No… Peoples passing should be followed with much talk about the GOOD things people did. Their good things, the positive things. Bring out all the silly memories, the stories where it ended up where everyone was laughing.
    Yes, you can say that you will miss someone but don’t be selfish about wanting them back. That is just a recipe for more misery.

    TALK ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS!!!! B-)

    When you see a funny thing that your friend or relative would have liked tell your friends and family… All of you getting together to enjoy something is a great bonding thing. Mourning is not a bad thing… But celebrating someones life would be SO MUCH better!

    This is why I generally hate religious funerals… They are always dark and gloomy. They just invite bad moods.
    This is why the South American idea is just SOOOO MUCH better. Bright lights, lively music, fun and happiness.

    And you know what? Hugs from others is awesome. B-)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Gosh, I absolutely hate physical contact! It’s definitely something that just puts me on edge!

      Whilst I’m sorry your Dad passed, I’m glad his painful journey came to an end both for him and you.

      You’re a wise owl!

      Love Sooz x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. That was a beautiful and sad post. I’m very sorry that you had to go through so much grief so early in life… No child should have to go through that. I find that the end of an intense love relationship can feel very much like the death of a loved one… Even though he/she is still very much alive. X

    Like

  3. I think I struggle with grief in much the same way. Any loss with the capacity to move you so much, to play havoc with your emotional well-being, will carry grief along with it. And if someone could come up with a definite time period that a grieving process takes, they would be millionaires! I know I’d buy into it.

    Liked by 1 person

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