Why do I feel bad for not wanting to be fat? 

Seeing adverts on tv recently is what prompted me to write this. I feel bad for not wanting to be fat, I feel bad for not embracing my curves, I feel bad for not wanting to wear crop tops or short skirts (frankly my rolls and loose skin do not need to be set free for public viewing) 
Adverts tell you to be yourself, and all I want to do is change me! I feel … Huffy? That adverts don’t encourage you to do better, both mentally and physically. But on the other side I’m happy plus size is becoming more main stream (not neccesarily cheaper) and encouraging people to be happy with who they are. 
 A catalogue has recently advertised they go up to a size 36, at my biggest I was a 30-32 and I can’t even imagine being a 36. Whilst I understand people are that size and might be perfectly happy.I wonder if by promoting it in such a positive light and the maximum size increasing constantly it’s making being morbidly obese kind of ok? I feel like such a hypocrite and a judgmental one at that for thinking any of these things!

I wonder how often I see healthy food advertised rather than strings of melted cheese dripping off a pizza, or sugar laden fizzy drink being poured into a glass.. quenching the thirst instantly, and burger adverts, showing a perfect burger I have never received at a fast food place in my life. Where are the healthy living adverts for vegetables (not diets that involve 3 pills a day for £95 a week or wrapping yourself in strips) I want to see more of them!
Maybe I’m being a judgemental arsehole, maybe not, who knows?
Love Sooz x


13 Comments Add yours

  1. Kalamain says:

    Maybe I’m going to take some stick for this…

    But I really don’t agree with the whole “fat acceptance” thing of late. Having a few extra pounds? not a problem. It won’t impact your health in any real way and you can lose it if needed with a healthy, active lifestyle.

    The more weight you carry the more stress and strain you put on your body… The body that was NOT designed to carry that much around! Health issues crop up. Your quality of life will drop. In the most general terms…. It’s just not good for you!

    People that say that “You should be happy in your skin” are so very used to a sedimentary life, one that doesn’t take any effort. Oh… And it is going to be a brief one because you don’t meet many old, obese people.

    Many of the ‘Plus size’ models that are out there are simply ‘Carrying a couple of pounds’. They still look good and are still healthy. Nobody expects people to be stick thin or super ripped and obviously a Gym rat. Those are the opposite end of the spectrum. It would be nice to sit there with that body, but who has the time for that? I’d rather be out doing something fun.

    In the end… You must, Must, MUST think about not just yourself but everyone around you. If you are obese you take up more room, others have to move around you, the NHS has to spend extra money on helping you, new technology has to be invented or altered to take care of you if something goes wrong. Working on ambulances for the past 9 months has shown me up close how much of a problem bariatrics is for the NHS.

    All for the fact that you wanted that extra bit of food or you were too lazy to do some exercise. *shakes head*

    Now for the caveats. I am obviously not talking about people with specific medical problems. Those people need help, advise and support. You shouldn’t judge them for having a problem they can’t control. The problem comes about when support is offered and rejected. That is where issues come in.

    Sooz… I am *REALLY* proud of what you have done. You have come such a long way in the brief time I have been reading this blog of yours. You should be proud of what you did too. I’m going to ask you two questions… I’m betting I already know the answer to the first one… B-)

    Was it easy?

    And the more important. Was it worth it?

    Stay awesome. B-)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love your comment, and I’m grateful that you took the time to write it. I’m glad I have such support! I agree with what you’ve said! Even if you had disagreed its nice to see someone else p.o.v!

      Answers no and YES!

      Lots of love Sooz xx

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kalamain says:

        Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. But I am glad you did it. I’m also REALLY glad you found a way to enjoy your life while doing it. So many people see a diet… erm… *Change of lifestyle*… To be so difficult, often a burden. Finding joy there makes it all better.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Sableyes says:

    The line between accepting who we are and being encouraged to be unhealthy has never been so blurred.

    I do not believe anyone should beat themselves up or be mocked for the way they look.

    I also believe people should try to live relatively healthily. If we don’t I often imagine we will pass some awfully bad genes, psychological and physiological disorders onto the next generations. Now there’s a rabbit hole to go down on the internet…. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. katiewritesagain says:

    I have been living a very active, healthy lifestyle most of my life. I’ve had few health issues….but I’ve had LOADS of personal issues. Sub low self esteem, depression, thoughts of suicide on a regular basis, inability to maintain healthy romantic relationships..or even have them, frankly. All that said, I think we need to be self aware and responsible for our own health as much as possible. If I’d had major health issue in addition to the crap I’ve had to deal with my whole life I probably wouldn’t be here now.
    Love yourself. You can love yourself without assuming that means it’s OK to eat crap food. Loving yourself, accepting yourself , all entail taking care of yourself. Of course you should accept yourself whatever is going on right this moment. That doesn’t mean accepting that you are engaging in unhealthy behavior. It means accepting the changes you need to make to become as healthy as you can. That’s how you love yourself. Forget what everyone else says, or does to make you feel bad. YOU are responsible for you, and YOU can be your best (or worst) friend.
    So, pat yourself on the back, smile into the mirror (and mean it!) and embrace your life.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Thank you so much for your advice. Love Sooz x


  5. Paula says:

    I’m here a couple months after you wrote this post, but found you because you recently stopped by and liked a Foodie post of mine. Thanks, by the way!
    The title of your post prompts me to respond. From what I know of people who are or have been obese, severely obese or morbidly obese, they may very well be saying they like themselves for who they are. However, what they may actually be saying is, “I like my ‘self.'” NOT, “I like my body.” I was morbidly obese and am, at present, creeping up on a 90-pound weight loss. I liked my personality. I liked my sense of humor. I liked the values I lived by and enjoyed my vocation. I still love those things. But I hated my body and was ashamed for not being able to lose weight.
    It wasn’t anyone else’s fault I was so big. It was mine. I was the one who had to take the steps to lose the weight and get healthy. (I am indeed healthier. Off three medications, no more sleep apnea, cholesterol levels back in normal range, so much more)
    I believe many other people also like the things about themselves that I mentioned above. But after talking to so many of them who are obese, I know they feel the same way you do. It’s hard to admit we don’t want to be fat forever, because our world says we are supposed to like who we are and be accepting of ourselves. But we get mixed messages from the media too. So go ahead and do what you need to do. In the end, I had to decide not to explain myself to anyone for why or how I lost weight. Those people who really love me don’t need explanations and the ones who do, I’ve found, just want to debate anyway. And the decision I made isn’t up for debate.
    Thanks again for stopping by and liking Foodie Friday today. It’s my pleasure to meet you and wish you continued success.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. rakioddbooks says:

    As an obese woman I really don’t find those “big is beautiful” advertisements very inspiring. The reason is that the models on these ads are not actually fat. Yes, they’re big and curvy and beautiful. But they’re not fat, they’re not obese, they don’t have cellulite, stretch marks, rolls, “love handles”, etc. In other words, they don’t represent me. If anything, it’s another this-is-beautiful stereotype I can now compare myself too.

    I’m not really supportive of this fat accepting lifestyle that’s being pushed. It’s not healthy and it’s also not excusable. Very few people are actually obese due to medical conditions that are out of their hands. The reason I’m obese is because I eat unhealthy and lead a sedentary life. I’m well aware of it, I’m working on it, and I don’t need people telling me that it’s ok to be fat and not to worry, while I’m trying so hard to change my life style into a healthier one.

    I wish I could say that if you’re happy with your weight and the way you look you shouldn’t care what others think (And I’m talking about obese and unhealthy people here). However, we forget that it’s not just us who are affected by our weight. All the people around us, the people who care about us are affected emotionally and financially. What’s going to happen when you get sick and can’t take care of yourself, can’t work? Who’s going to take care of you, who’s going to pay the bills? Now, you’ve become someone’s burden simply because you didn’t want to eat healthier, didn’t want to exercise a little…. Anyway, I’m being too ranty now, and I feel I’ve gone off topic. Sorry!!

    I don’t think you should feel bad for not wanting to be fat. What matters is that you do what you think is best for you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thankyou for taking the time to write that comment! It really did make sense. Love Sooz x

      Liked by 1 person

  7. We need to learn and understand that no two being can hve the same shape, what is best is team healthy.. my healthy size is different frm every other person and being chubby really ain’t healthy, if you do feel d need to trim down abit you have my full support, cheering u on all the way from Nigeria

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Interesting perspective, for sure 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Sarah May says:

    I love this!

    I’m happy that people are finally accepting who they are but people need to understand that change is okay too.
    I’ve been super skinny and very big (I’m at my biggest at the moment).
    I miss being slim (easily finding cheap clothes to buy, finding it easier to work etc) but I find that when I talk to those close to me about it, I get the reply “You don’t need to lose weight. You’re beautiful the way you are”.
    This just stresses me out as it’s confusing! X

    Liked by 1 person

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