Guess what I had for breakfast…
2 x boiled eggs
2 x dry toast
1x chocolate bar and numerous swigs of a bottle of diet coke in the fridge!
My food is the biggest aspect… When I’m good I’m really good, but when I’m bad it’s a painful affair of gluttony!
I completed no junk July… Now it’s all the junk August! I’ve been having some digestive problems and I think I’ve thought fuck it, if healthy food is going to make me ill, then I’m just gonna eat what I want… Self destruct at its finest!
I cook healthy meals and post them on Instagram, then I snack and don’t post the unhealthy stuff… Lying to myself and my followers is a slippery slope!
I know this needs to change and fast. I know I’m wallowing like a hippopotamus! A fat one!
Do we need time just to sneak back to our old comforter?
An alcoholic or a drug addict goes cold turkey but what does a food addict do, addicted to the comfort, addicted to the rows and rows of glorious food in Technicolor shops drawing you in?
Do we stop eating? No!
Is it just my pure laziness that I can’t actually be bothered, or is it that I’m under so much stress that the only quiet time I get, is when I can’t hear anything, even my own thoughts because I’m chewing.
I began a journey on 19/04/2015 thinking the change was purely physical, but it’s 98% mental.
Exercising is mental
Eating is mental
Food addiction is mental
Yet all of the gains and losses are physical!
My physical being is the product of my mind… So, right now I’m in the gutter! I’m tired, so tired. I’m fed up of medical condition after medical condition being discovered. Last night I said to L …
If I make it to an old lady, I’ll be surprised
Don’t worry, you’re already a little old lady, in mind, spirit and boobs!
She is always supportive, and having someone who is supportive is at least something. Who mentions how much diet coke you’re drinking, or how much chocolate you’re eating. Someone you can talk to about anything. But who will give you a kick up the arse you need, or make you laugh when needed!
These were my birthday goals… I’m not in teen sizes yet! I’m still a 20-22-24 depending on the material and the fit. I’m really sad about that if I’m honest, I’d of tried harder I could have been.
However the rest, I have done. I’m proud of that. But going back to my Instagram shows that I have let things slip.
It’s time to get out of this rut, it’s time to smash it, IT’S TIME!
Instead of clinging onto the wagon, I want to be driving it!
To morph from a hippopotamus to a graceful gazelle!
I will be posting all of my meals, snacks and plans on Instagram! I will attempt to cut out snacking!
Find me @discoveringsooz
Love Sooz x