A bad days musings

I wrote this on a bad day, it’s nice to look back at and see that I’ve taken a few steps forward! No matter how bad a bad day is it’s only a bad day because there are good days! 

“I hate change, I find it so difficult to deal with, it can be as simple as a cup moving, it makes me feel so insecure, so a day when furniture moves and things that I have no control over. It makes my anxiety 110% worse. I want to curl up in bed and not get out. Upheaval of any kind makes me uncomfortable. I dread it, I hate it when’s it happening and it takes me a ridiculously long time to get used to it. Then on top of it, I feel bad because I so want to be ok with it, to be happy. I know change is a good thing for the most part, but I struggle with it in all forms. A packaging change in a shop, if something is discontinued, if I forget a recipe but try and make it but it doesn’t taste the same. I like to put the same foods together we joke I have a better meal memory than normal memory, even the weather differing from the forecast. I know I frustrate other people, I’m frustrated enough with myself. I feel like a freak, like a picky bitch, like I’m selfish, like no one else can do anything, I feel overwhelmed by my own need for order. But, if I can’t see it, it’s ok. If a wardrobe is a mess I don’t mind”
Love Sooz x


One Comment Add yours

  1. The fact that you are aware of what causes you anxiety (Change) is the first step of dealing with that anxiety. I’m glad you are feeling better today though.

    Liked by 1 person

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